The First of April

I’ve lost my rope. It’s not the rope itself that’s important. Any rope will do. The problem is it could look like anything. A rope never looks exactly like a rope. How do I spot something if I don’t know what it looks like? When I find where I left my rope, I’ll finally be able to get back to using my imagination rather than thinking about thinking. It’s the worst loop to get stuck in, thinking about thinking about thinking about thinking about broken records about thinking about thinking. If you come across my rope, please don’t move it.



About Kamina Kapow

I have dimples and friends

12 responses to “The First of April”

  1. Paul says :

    I love my “Foolish Kamina” I miss her too. just to let you know we haven’t forgotten about you. We are moving to Sweet Home, Into a house half the size we are living in. It is really helping us sort through what is important to keep and what we can let go of. So we are packing, you know what that is like, and on Wednesday night are loading all of our belongings & April’s into a 26′ U-Haul Truck. A huge dread hovers over me at just the thought. I spent three months lying on my back with a ruptured disk in my neck. I can empathize with everything you are saying. There is nothing else to do, 1. Let your imagination run and fly freely or 2. Go nuts. I think I did both. What encourages me about you is you are letting your mind run freely without going nuts. I’m so very proud of you Kamina. Paul

  2. Gina says :

    Foolish Kamina, you are too funny. I haven’t written that piece that I said I would write for you. I will get on it soon.

  3. Stefanie says :

    I have a confession. I have your rope. I stole it and you can’t have it back until I can come over and play. =)

    I miss yooooouuuuuu.
    lubs times a bazillion

  4. Mary Melon says :

    This has been a Foolish Kamina production. All views expressed by Foolish Kamina and her band of angry mittenless kittens do not necessarily represent the views of Actual Kamina.

    Love you!

  5. cardassianvole says :

    If I were a mittenless kittens, I’d be angry too

  6. Kirks says :

    Dear Kamina,

    I am a 31 years old male and in 2009 (when i was 28) I was also diagnosed with rectal cancer. I only has some mild pain when i was sitting on chairs and because i was afraid that it’s a hemorrhoid I run to the doctor. It wasn’t a hemorrhoid, it was cancer at 3 cm of my rectum.
    They took a biopsy which confirmed the diagnosis. Squamos cell carcinoma, moderately differentiated cells.

    The world ended for me at that point. It just couldn’t be possible.
    I have a lot of doctor friends, went to a few hospitals and they all said the same: “you want to live or you want to have a nice abdomen and die maybe in a few years?”. The fact is that because the cancer is so close to the rectum, the safest method to remove it is by doing this Myles surgery (this is it’s name).

    I agreed, this isn’t something you can choose. For males it’s even worse because there is a high chance to have erectile dysfunctions after the surgery, which I experienced also.

    MRI scan confirmed that I have no metastasis on my lungs, liver, pancreas.
    I haven’t done any radiotherapy or chemo before surgery. My tumor was 3 cmx4cm, it wasn’t penetrating the wall of the colon. Before the surgery they removed my inguinal lymph nodes, they were cancer free. During the surgery they also removed all lymph nodes (9) found in the area of the tumor. I had a hole of a size of a big grapefruit in by butt. The pathologist confirmed free of cancer margins, free of cancer lymph nodes (all of them).

    So I had a T2N0M0. They told me that I was so lucky.

    So… I had a bag attached to my left side pelvis. I cried like a baby when nobody was seeing me. I was only 28. Why me??

    Afterwards I undergo radiotherapy and some light chemo once a week (cysplatin). Had no hair loss fortunately.

    It’s been 3 years since then. I am doing every 3 months blood analysis and RMI and every time came back fine. This morning I just got the results of the scan I had on Friday. I am happy, you know. There are so many horror stories out there, people are dying from this. Cancer is not something you can underestimate, so please, be happy that you had the surgery of rectum removal; it is the best thing they could do for you. Just think, you could of lose your breast of vagina. That is mutilating.

    Regarding the pouches, I use Dansac pouches, the light version (no evacuation). When you apply them, make sure to warm them a bit, and hold your palm on it for 1-2 minutes. The glue activates if there is some pressure and temperature. You will get used with it. After a few months, you can also flush your colon twice a week and you will have no poop (you’ll still experience flatulence, thou, which is the most disturbing). You can go to gym, swimming, whatever.

    I hope you’ll never face cancer again. This is my biggest fear and its normal.
    God bless you.


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