i’m home

I came home from the hospital on Tuesday evening. I was in there for a week and a day. The drugged up head made it impossible to read, and I’m still in a bit of a fog. It will be a while yet before I’m clear-headed enough to read the emails I’ve been receiving. So far my week home has been difficult. The pain is being managed, but it still hurts a lot to get up and down.

The car ride home was a typical Kamina tragedy. I was riding in the back of my moms car, big, but surprisingly stiff shocks. I felt every speed bump and pothole echo pain in my stomach. Mark was following us. His car is older and even more stiff, making my mom’s the better choice of the two. We got about two blocks from the hospital when my mom noticed Mark was no longer behind us. I called him. His car was not working and he had to pull off the road. We found him, and while we were waiting for a tow truck, I asked if they’d got my prescriptions so we could pick up my pills when we got home. Nope. The nurses hadn’t given them to us and my family hadn’t thought to ask for them. So back we went to the hospital after the tow truck took Mark’s car. We ended up making it home about two hours after being discharged, and I slept for two days recovering from the pain of the ride home.

In the last four days I’ve been home, my colostomy bag’s seal has broken five times, getting poo all over my stomach and clothing, and even my bare foot. It wasn’t until the fifth time that I finally broke down and cried. Here I am, struggling to get a bag to stay attached to my stomach to catch my poop. Every time I change the bag there’s a bright red ring of irritated skin where it had once been. My skin is too sensitive for the gentlest bag type, and on top of that it doesn’t stick well enough to my skin to do it’s job. I even tried a glue my mom picked up for me, and that didn’t hold the seal either.

Just one more week until I get these drainage tubes removed. Once they are gone and I can get a seal to stay on my bag I will finally get to move from the couch to rejoin my husband in bed. I’m too scared for a leak to sleep there now. There’s still over a month left until I’m able to sit up. I try to pass the time by sleeping. In my dreams I can run and jump and dance and eat chocolate cake.

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About Kamina Kapow

I have dimples and friends

7 responses to “i’m home”

  1. Markis Melarkis says :

    In my dreams too only we’re both smoking too as well also.

  2. Jenn's Mom says :

    My dear heart, one day you will be able to run, jump and dance again in spite of that dumb bag. There are always workarounds. Until then, be patient with yourself. And, if it is true you didn’t really need this surgery, I’d sue the snot out of that doctor so he could pay for my dance lessons.

  3. adayinthelifeofamiddleagewoman says :

    Jenn’s mom is a wise lady. Give yourself some time to adapt.
    Know that no matter how you feel about the bag and its down-falls, your husband and those who love you, don’t care one whit about it and how it functions (or doesn’t).
    xxoo

  4. Stefanie says :

    I don’t know what to say, except that I love you and I’m sorry that it’s sucking so hard right now. I’ll come over anytime you want and you can boss me around until you feel better, promise. Lubs, always.

  5. sandi says :

    I hope your doing better. We are all thinking of you , please let us know when you are up for a visit.
    I know some girls who dress in sparkles on Fridays that would love to see you
    😊

    let us know if you need anything or we can do something for you.

    Take care and keep your chin up,
    Sandi

  6. Shah says :

    Thinking about you Kamina. Hope it gets easier with every day.

  7. Amber Gregory says :

    I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you right now. I love you. ❤

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