The surgical consult was today. I learned the permanent colostomy bag is non-negotiable. From the beginning I expected that. The finality of it is still heavy to digest. There’s a chance I don’t need it. There’s a chance the cancer is gone, but there’s no way to test for it up front, so to gamble it would be taking a blind risk with an 80% chance the cancer will return if I don’t go with the bag. In order for my butt to heal properly, they’ll be bringing in a plastic surgeon to remove muscles from my stomach to move down below. It will be a six-hour operation in early February, with a little over two months of recovery time.

What I want is to not have cancer to begin with. Beyond that I choose life. I still have my arms and my legs. I can walk, I can talk, I can use my hands. I can still be the artist I want to be. Still, I’ve sat around today eating cream cheese straight from the foil feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow will be better.


About Kamina Kapow

I have dimples and friends

4 responses to “Surgery”

  1. Markis Melarkis says :

    God, such a bummer 😦 I know you were preparing yourself for this, but it’s still a heavy load to carry. I love you and will carry as much of the burden as possible. We need to come up with nicknames for the bag, so I don’t just call you crazy bag lady all the time.

  2. Rob says :


    The bag is not that bad as My wife had it Permanently, she stool and urine going in and we managed ok, when we got the hang of it lol…. If You need any advise on how we managed and tips just email me at

    Still praying for You and Husband and family.. and for all the cancer to be gone.Keep going as ou are on the same jouney of millions of good people.

    Cancer Cannott win, It cant rob you of your Love and Peace and Joy that we share with loved ones ..

    Sending Good wishes to you and yours at this special time of Year.


  3. Robyn Schultze says :

    My ex-husband had a full on colostomy and after recovering from the surgery and getting used to it he continues to have a fully active and normal life. It doesn’t slow him down one bit. It amazed me how many people we met who had the same story. By now you know there are all sorts of support groups that can help you cope as you adjust to the new norm.

    You can do this! You CAN do this! You can DO this! You can do THIS!

    Lots and lots of hugs,


    P.S. Cream cheese out of the foil wrap is awesome!

  4. Amber Gregory says :

    There is nothing I can say to sugarcoat this: it fucking SUCKS. I cannot imagine what you are going through or the mental/emotional strength you’re having to muster right now, but I am in awe of you. Also, I am currently crying.

    On a lighter note: let me again mention that you can become a well known artist on the internet by popularizing your new line of colostomy bag covers. Think about it. It’s a gold mine.

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