day 5 I’M AWAKE

I’m not used to taking medicine for anything. I avoid pain killers because I usually end up feeling worse. A feeling I thought might be crazy until I learned I was allergic to ibuprofen. The allergy test made me feel a lot less crazy, actually. It’s amazing how people can make you feel when they are aggressively skeptical of your feelings. I’ve been told it’s all in my head more than I’ve been taken seriously. Five different doctors told me my health issues were due to stress. People still find room to be skeptical of my gluten intolerance.  I was vomiting weekly until I cut gluten out of my diet, but yeah, you’re right, it’s all in my head. Just a fad that I’m jumping onto cuz it’s hip. Are you stupid? These fads don’t become popular for no reason. ADD and ADHD were considered a fad. Maybe 10% of the people that claim it, don’t actually have a right to, but that is a weird percentage to be focusing on. How human of us to want to focus on the people who are wrong.  A lot of people were given a name for something they struggle with, and because of that they felt a little less alone, and a little more like they could have better control in their lives. It infuriates me that we do not focus on these people, they are the majority. Just because you have an annoying cousin that claims every newly discovered diagnosis, doesn’t mean EVERYONE is your cousin. SLAP YOU! Wake up to reality. Saying gluten intolerance is just a fad is like saying diabetes is the new must-have this season. Sugar and Gluten are equally not meant to be in some bellies. Just because you aren’t diabetic, just because you aren’t gluten intolerant, don’t be a fool and assume all other people are like you.

My food allergies are not fake, and they were tough to deal with before cancer. I was given a safe list to start, and then every 4 days I get to add a new food. This is very strict. When I say I can only have these things, I mean that’s it, no other spices, none of the usual cooking oils, NOTHING that isn’t on this list.

Safe List:
egg white
beef (organic, in fact, just slap on “organic” after everything)
amaranth grain
sweet potato
dry curd cottage cheese
cayenne pepper

for one week I ate only these things. After the initial torturous week, i added one new ingredient, every four days, from a list based on my tolerance level measured in the test.
These are the items, in the order they were added:
HMF powder (probiotics for digestion)
spinach (didn’t like how it made me feel, so i discontinued)
-(started chemo+radiation)-
american cheese

I added american cheese in a bit earlier than the schedule said I should, but, you know, I have cancer. I need a treat. So far the new diet is treating me well, the cancer not as much. Today I made it through an entire day at work. After halving the recommended dose of anti-nausea I got a good mix of both staying awake and not vomiting. Liquid vitamin B complex gave me a boost of energy. It was my first whole day of work since treatment started. Have I mentioned how awesome my coworkers and bosses are? So awesome. They are the kind of people you’d want to have around while you try not to vomit on your work.


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About Kamina Kapow

I have dimples and friends

6 responses to “day 5 I’M AWAKE”

  1. clumsythinker says :

    p.s. if it isn’t obvious, those arms are supposed to look awkward

  2. clumsythinker says :

    p.p.s. all percentages were made up.

  3. Mel says :

    I love to read your blog, you inspire me with your words and feeling! Just when I think I may cry with you, you make me laugh and make my day!
    Thanks for the props, but it is you who are awesome!
    Looking Good!!
    Lu Mel

  4. Vivian Ruby Stacks says :

    I just want to say, this blog really spoke to me. Of course you know my sister has massive food allergies very similar to yours, which for years were misdiagnosed as things like bipolar disorder. (Figure THAT one out.) She was down to about 95 pounds, complaining to her doctor that she had weighed more when she was 13 and he said, “You look great.” Well, yes, she did, for someone recently released from Auschwitz.

    My husband has Fibromyalgia (so does my sister, that’s how we found what’s wrong with him). Firefox is telling me that’s not a real word. Nice. He’s had it for almost 30 years, but only found out what it is in the last year. Everyone’s been saying all this time that the pain is “all in his head” because the tests don’t show it (it’s a nerve disorder, it doesn’t show up on X-rays and CT scans). As recently as July his nephew-in-law (who is a periodontist) carefully explained to him that the pain in fibro doesn’t really exist, it’s just a mistake the brain makes.

    Um, if you experience it as pain, it IS pain. Why is this so hard for people to grasp? Oh, my nerves don’t cause me so much pain I can’t sit in a chair, so YOU are imagining it? Wtfever.

    I think I will print this out and slap people with it when they judge other people’s health by their own personal feelings of comfort.

  5. Kristan Catmull-Venables says :

    I am so inspired by this blog! I met you at Tori’s wedding last summer (and have admired your art/photography from afar before that). I think your words are so incredibly important….I am the same age as you, and it has definitely put a lot of things in perspective for me. You are brutally honest, and this is real life. You can live in fear, or fight like hell…. and I think your message is pretty clear.

    I hope this blog reaches the masses – I am trying to do my part to spread the word!

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